Ayahuasca on the Horizon

It has been just over 3 months since my first Ayahuasca Ceremonies in Costa Rica. I still have not written about the experience because I’m not totally sure how to put it into words but one day I will. Maybe one day sooner than later. I knew my encounter with Mother Ayahuasca would come about again shortly after my last ceremony. As Peru approaches, I feel more calm about it like my ego has surrendered to it. I can feel her stirring in my body and in my soul. The plants and trees are speaking to me. I can’t get enough of being in the earth, smelling the beautiful flowers and hugging all the trees…more than I usually do. I am being invited back with open arms and it feels comforting. I never know what to expect with Mother Ayahuasca but my intention is to heal my heart and open my soul.

I have lived my life fairly safely in this lifetime. I have made an effort to blend in and to not go against the grain so as not to attract unwanted attention from others. There was a reading I received a few years back, and a past life had come up about me being a warrior woman in Roman times. I was captured and made to fight for my freedom in domes for others entertainment. I was held in captivity until one day I won my freedom fair and square. I was set free and trusting no one, I took off into the woods on my own and hid from society so as to retain my new found freedom. This resonated with me deeply as freedom is one of the most important things to me and always has been. My lesson in this life is to love…to love myself, others and all things unconditionally. And in order to do this I need to connect and in order to connect I need to be my authentic self and put myself back out there in this wild world. I need to trust that the Universe will have my back and that the people that were meant to cross my path will find me and vice versa. But I have to allow them to find me and to show my true colours when they do. This is at least one of my life missions I know for sure. Mother Ayahuasca is a guardian plant spirit that is helping me realize some deeper truths about myself, about this reality and about my life path. I am honoured and blessed to be welcomed back by your Divine presence wisdom. I embark on my journey with humble confidence, a willingness to let go and an openness to trust.

Muchas Gracias Mother Ayahuasca

Music Ignites My Heart

Music ignites my heart. It makes my whole being vibrate and creates an experience that I do not want to escape from. I have been reminiscing on some childhood years when I felt safe and hopeful. Celine Dion and Whitney Houston bring it home for me. The song, the sound, the lyrics and the vibration being me back to my inner child. The times I spent in my room passionately singing to the hopeful soul-full sounds of these beautiful dosas was magical to say the least. Music, dancing and singing is a beautiful healthy release for me. It is a means of transcending from this realm to another. It is powerful. It is powerful beyond measure. There is soo much power in the stillness and silence…yes…that is what they say. But for me, in this time, it is the music that takes me to the realm of the unknown. I just want to sing and dance and dance and sing and prance and move and be free and shout from the bottom of my soul to the top of my lungs the sounds of my being! We are looking for ways to express ourselves and i know this is mine. It is just about breaking free of judgement from myself for needing this and going for it.

I love you beautiful being! Go and be free!

Hang in There...

My soul is halfway out the door but I still have 11 more days to get through/enjoy my time here in Whistler. I honestly can’t believe this time has finally come. It feels like I have been waiting for it for awhile and in truth I have been. I have been in a waiting period and it feels like it has been an especially long one with lots of lessons and deep inner work. I am still trying to navigate my way through it towards the end. I am glad I stuck it out though because there were times when I wanted to jump ship and get the fuck out because it was too hard. But the Universe does acknowledge that I stuck around for that extra much needed work. And I’m still doing the work.

In all honesty, I thought I would be leaving Whistler sober. I went on an adventure into the world of sobriety and abstaining from alcohol. It was tough at first and then I came to realize that I am not powerless over alcohol and that is empowering on its own. That being said, I still choose to have it in my life and I’m exploring why. I know that in the last couple months I let myself enjoy beautiful bc cider and wine and it has been delicious and nurturing at both a superficial and a deeper level. We do what we do to get by and I realize that it has been a huge coping mechanism in my life and it has served its purpose. All things must and do come to an end to continue the circle of life, so while my time in Whistler is coming to an end, so again is my relationship with alcohol. I’m glad I allowed myself to venture there again with it and not let the fear of ever touching it again rule my life. In the last couple months, I have had some incredible times and connected with some incredible people truly uniquely with the accompany of alcohol. Not to say that I wouldn’t have had these connections/experiences without it, but it may have been different and so for that reason I have no regrets. I met an angel here on this earth and realized his angelic nature during our late night wine chats where we opened up to each other about life and why we chose to be here in these bodies and in this time.

The spirit of alcohol has given me the feeling of freedom in my being and freedom of expression when I would have otherwise been recluse. But now…or very soon I am about to let go of all things, ideas, constraints, limitations bit by bit as I embrace true freedom on a journey back to my true self. I am ultimately learning to let go of all things until I only give a fuck about 3 things….Peace, Love and Freedom. I am learning to play with the darkness instead of drowning in it or ignoring it. I am learning to not fear the things we were taught to fear. I am learning to love the things I never intended to. I am learning to let go and trust in the plan that the Universe has in store for me and this Earth. Hang in there and enjoy the journey beautiful:) Cheers to that!!!

BC vino, real thoughts and epic views

BC vino, real thoughts and epic views

Te Amo Pacha Mama

Te amo Pacha Mama

Eres real

Eres hermosa

Eres importante

Amo tus colores

Amo tu musica

Amo tu crudeza

Eres mi diosa, mi vida y mi amor

Te amo Pacha Mama

Full Moon in Aquarius

Full moon in Aquarius. This baby is bright as shit. Kimmy asked me tonight what the full moon in Aquarius represented and I couldn’t remember what I read so I spoke to it with what I felt. I felt that it was especially hard to be in a situation that didn’t allow you to speak your truth or in an environment that you didn’t feel comfortable speaking it in. Feeling a sense of entrapment within our own doing. Just now I googled the full moon in Aquarius now and guess what?? The Aquarius is always searching for the truth and so this is a time to confront the truths in life as it relates to you. Well fuck, my truth is that I am always searching…for the one, for the way, for the truth. The thing is that I search externally for this more than I do internally. A lot of us do this. This is okay but the journey inward is the journey to truth. The process of going inward occurs perhaps differently for each of us so do not be discouraged if you have no idea what the truth is. The truth is…there are no definitive truths;)

The Quest for Ma Tribe

I’m on a quest for ma tribe. It sounds like a magical endeavour….and trust me, it is. It is like searching for unicorns and squirrels with similar interests in rainbow colours and nut selections.

My Tribe:

Wild and Free!

Loving Hearts

Compassionate Souls

Beautiful Beings

Wounded Warriors

Golden Goddess’s

Badass Bitches

Strong Standpoints

All for the Almonds

Believers in the Best

Keen for the Greens

Fuck it, be who you are what you are and embody the Feminine Divine. Love with all you have even if you have to build it from the ground up. Be real because that is what we all need more of. The real you…the real me….feel the fear of the most vulnerable state of your being and then turn that fear into fierce my dear. That is what I came for and that is what I came to you for. I will meet you soon if I haven’t met you already;)



I’m lit as shit right now! Just got off the phone with Kimmy and I feel alive and inspired by our real and raw conversation. This life is too short to have small talk, especially with the ones I love. All things are possible in this life and it is refreshing as fack to discuss these possibilities with my soul sister in this life. Lately, I have been feeling bogged down by commitments and work and I know that I am the one choosing this sometimes dreadful existence and it has made me take a step back and look at what really makes me happy. I make all these bloody commitments to people and jobs that don’t serve my highest soul purpose and then I don't have any time left to commit myself to my own well being. It’s like the hampster wheel affect where I start off going for a little joy ride and then I get caught up in the pace thinking I am going somewhere and the faster I run, the faster the wheel spins but ultimately I go nowhere. Fuck. Whereas, if I just jumped off my little joyride before it took me for a hell ride then I could chill, relax, unwind and truly create space for what my soul needs. I used to consider ‘me time’ as selfish on my part but now I totally embrace it and need it. Connection is important but I don’t think that I have to connect with everyone. If I connect with a few brilliant souls in my life and the rest of the time I spend connecting with myself and nature then that is magical. Because I would rather that than connecting with everyone and not connecting with myself….not saying it is all or nothing but sometimes its hard to find that balance.

Also, the quality of conversation and what I connect about is so important to me. I used to feel like I had to, or wanted to talk to everyone…whether that was to please them or myself. But now I’m okay to just walk on by if I know it is not a conversation or connection I’m feeling that is not worth my time. And honestly I would 100% respect if someone felt that way about me. Anyways, back to my sis and our awesome conversations always! We like to push the limits on how far outside the ‘box’ we think and ponder when we are talking about some real life shit. I’m so grateful for you:) I feel lit as shit! I love you!!!!


Journey of the Healer

These words do not come from me yet I feel as though they are being spoken through me to me. The journey of a healer is one that can be difficult to navigate as it is usually filled with hurt, pain, doubt, loneliness and loss. As time goes on though, the healer understands and feels that all the turbulence was necessary in order to be able to come fully into their power of love and light and help others do the same. And so it goes….

‘She’s coming into her power…

She spent years not realizing who she was.
She doubted her beauty, her intelligence and her power.
She was one who always felt that she didn’t quite belong
because when she came into this life, her ties to the world of spirit remained far too strong..

She was confused and lost throughout her youth, unable to see herself much less accept and appreciate herself.
As a result she was like a ship bobbing in the ocean without a rudder and without the sails of confidence to direct her towards her own promised land.

She was one who bereft of her own acceptance, hungered for it and searched for it through relationships with others.
She was a people pleaser as a result,
she would not risk confrontation in order to support herself,
she succumbed to being influenced by the opinions of others even though she had already received her instruction from within.
She allowed her truth to be sublimated,
she allowed herself to be controlled…
Her need to be accepted and loved was such that she wasn’t prepared to step on or over any toes.

It took her years of being taken for granted,
ruled and overlooked before she put two and two together,
had enough and got the message.
Her suffering forced her to step out of the status quo that had always been too tight for her in the first place…
she became an avid seeker, searching for answers…
She needed to know who she was, she needed to know why she was here.
She needed to find a way to free herself from fear

She travelled far and wide,
She sat at the feet of a master,
She became a Yogini of an ancient lineage
and applied the teachings to her life,
She grew strong,
She awakened her heart
She awakened her shakti,
Her third eye opened as a result…
Her potentials started to be unearthed rapidly because the veils had parted and she recognized who she was,
She also recognized who everyone else was behind their socialized facade
and because she had seen through the myth of idealized perfection,
she could appreciate the actual perfection of the imperfections in herself and in others that she had once resisted and rejected.

Today she walks with conscious awareness..
she no longer labels people as good or bad,
She interprets everything as fluctuating energy without a fixed assignment.
She holds space for the confusion of others because she’s been there and she still visits that place herself
she understands their hunger for love misappropriated as selfishness, jealousy and competition…
She feels their vulnerability as she feels her own…
She knows the fear reflected in their eyes through her own past terror…
But underneath all of it she can see the obscured light,
the presence of God/dess despite all the protective armor…
She’s aware of this same divine presence vibrating in her body and in her heart…
She’s not so quick to cast judgment anymore because she knows that she is not above those that she is tempted to judge…
she knows that she is not separate
And because she gives herself permission to be herself as she is,
she can accept others as they are with appreciation and compassion …

She’s not invested in changing anyone either,
she respects everyone’s chosen path because
she understands that every soul is doing exactly what they need to do in order to evolve
So it is not her place to save anyone from their own lessons…
She reveals, heals, inspires and encourages instead,
she reminds others of their forgotten divinity…
She holds up a mirror so that they can see God/dess reflected back…
She has become a midwife for the re-emergence of the Divine Feminine soul.

The shy, timid maiden has transformed into the courageous, outspoken mother of all…
She says it as she sees it confidently without shrinking back,
She’s fiercely protective of the helpless,
She’s A torch for those lost in darkness,
and she’s not afraid to take a stand for peace and love to flourish in this world…
if someone tries to persuade her against her own knowing she simply and graciously responds, “Thank you for sharing.”
and she walks away…
Because she trusts her “self”,
She knows that she is Divine Mother embodied..

She is Artemis of the wild merged with…
compassionate Tara and warrior Durga…
She has traversed the journey of Inanna into the dark underworld and emerged in possession of her kingdom
She knows why she is here and she’s fulfilling her purpose..
She’s not alone, she’s among many
who have chosen to return bearing love as their message,
their path and their gift of healing.’

Written beautifully by © Caroline de Lisser @carolinedelisser

The journey continues…



-The Universe